act your age

I'm finding it more difficult to identify where exactly I fall into the age category. We all know those boxes that define an age group. Check the box that applies 18-24, 25-32, 33-40, and so on. I know which box my age tells me I belong in but what does that really mean when looking at all the other women around me?

What does 29 look like? What does 29 feel like? What does 29 act like? I know I no longer look eighteen, nor do I want to look that age but could I pass for 25. Do I want to pass for 25? Could I pass for 30 or 33? That would be about the age I truly feel at this point in my life.

I have never been able to guess someone's age accurately. There are so many variables. What are they wearing? What are they doing with their lives? What are they talking about?

Where is this blog post going?

I had recently been in the presence of an intelligent, beautiful women who, at times in my life, I was jealous of because of her talent and humor. Our lives are completely different now other than we both are mothers and we are both the same age. I find myself no longer jealous, but completely sad for her and her child. The choices she makes in her life, she makes without care for the ultimate consequence. She lives for the now, instead of the future. She depends on everyone around her to make her life better, instead of herself.

I keep hoping she will get her head out of the clouds, look at her beautiful child and say, "today and everyday I will do what's best for us," but she doesn't. We spent five hours getting to know each other again and the conversation was mainly dominated by one thing. Money. Everyone I know has money problems, including my own household, but it's not something I feel the need to talk about. We are where we are because of our own choices. Not anyone else's. Enough said. She seemed to have an excuse or reason for her financial situation and that of her significant others'.

After she left I gave my husband and kids an extra hug and kiss. I was filled with love for all of them. My husband and I put our kids first. Our marriage first. Our well-being first. Then comes money. We are in the very middle of taking financial responsibility for our lives and that is our own business. We are communicating thoughts, dreams, and even respective disagreements. We are adults. We are acting our age.

Thinking back about the whole day I had come to the conclusion that she has absolutely no clue how old she is or what people our age act like. She was texting the entire five hours. She had clothes on that would be more appropriate for someone five to ten years younger than us. She kept justifying herself to me(and probably to herself, as well). She was uncomfortable in her own skin.

I couldn't imagine living that way or acting that way at this point in my life. I had and still have a great support system. I have a group of family and friends who will tell the hard truth to me. These great people will support me in any way I need it, but at a price that is appropriate. I wish she had that. She could, but chooses not to keep the people close that will help her because they disagree with her choices. That's life, I guess and part of growing up is recognizing the best path. Even if you already passed it.

Cheers to all those who have realized you should no longer shop in the juniors section. To those that tailor your conversation to your audience. To those that realize the importance of giving your attention to who you are with, instead of texting someone you are not. I raise my first cup of coffee to you. May you know the moments that you should act your age, and the moments when you should throw all caution to the wind.