still waiting....

i pretty sure i posted something on my everlasting feeling of waiting for something a very long while ago...and that wonderfully frustrating feeling is super persisitant because i still have it.

and i still don't know what it is i'm waiting for.

jesus?

a lottery win?

to be hit by falling space junk?

my husband to turn into Jonathan Rys Meyers(as King Henry of course), present me with a large diamond ring and call me sweetheart in a fantastic english accent?

nothing?

i could possibly be waiting for all these things to find me, but i think the bigger picture would require me to live in the moment. and since i am watching two extra kids this week and next(both toddlers) that is surely not going to happen.

i will live in the moment in two weeks.

so, i raise my fifth cup of coffee to you and say, "a toast to september 30th. may you get here quick."

i mentioned on an early post that i started and then forgot about my happiness project. the happiness project is a book by gretchen rubin. she started her project after realizing she was happy but could be happier. her book really got me thinking about my happiness and what it would take to get myself out of the comfortable protective bubble i have created and start exploring the options life has to offer me.

i did really good the first month. i included things that i could start doing immediately that would create routine and immediate results. i joined a gym and went every other day. i kept a food diary, sat in the sun, washed my pillow cases, took a vitamin, tried to drink more water and so on.

most everything i tried fell by the wayside, but i did keep a couple of new habits. i now wash my face every night before i get into bed. i know it takes 28 days to create a habit and was very diligent about making sure i completed this task every night. i have missed one night in over three months and my skin looks amazing. it branched out into finding a new skincare regime and i have never looked better. i also take a vitamin and an omega 3 everyday. this has reminded me to give my daughter her vitamins.

where was i going with this?

since i had already given up half way through last month i realized i did not look at this month's tasks at all. i unfortunately found that this month's tasks are related to something that has weighed heavily on my mind lately. money. i sometimes lay awake at night and dream of ways to make ends meet or even of winning the lottery just so i don't' have to think about it at all.

money.

money can buy happiness. it could most definitely buy mine right now.

money has a love/hate relationship in our house. my husband and i are both very bad with money. it burns holes in my husband's pockets and for me, well, if i have it, i don't worry about what i'm spending it on until it's gone. then i have buyer's remorse and bit of depression for not saving. so this month will hopefully put an end to that.

september: spend better/find ways to save. make a plan/budget. plan a modest splurge for all family members. find a way to save power. tackle a nagging task.

if you need me this month that is where i will be. the nagging task will be this months tasks in general. although i'm completely not looking forward to doing any of these, i know the outcome will be worth it. as usual, wish me luck!

september

september is officially upon us. the tempuratures have been near or over 100 degrees for over three months. i'm assured by the locals that the weather will start to cool down and that makes me pretty darn excited because i have a whole new wardrobe that can't be worn until it does. i have cleaned out my closet of all clothes that no longer fit or i haven't worn in years. the hope that i will lose the baby weight and fit into any of them is now gone. and i have to say, it's completely freeing.

i have decided to build upon my new collection of style by picking up pieces here and there. i have always been the type of person that waits until i have worn out my clothing and am then forced to spend hard earned cash to fill the empty spaces with large amounts of inexpensive clothing that never lasts or looks as good as i had thought. i will no longer look for the cheap way to decorate myself. instead, i have been choosing clothing for comfort, durability, and, of course, fashionability. is that even a word?

i have also most always chosen items that require a particular shoe or accessory. no more i say! i will choose pieces that can be worn together, otherwise i will never wear them. is it sad that it has taken well into my 20's to figure this out? you get what you pay for. in most everything. it's most definitely worth the extra money to buy quality products. they fit better, work better, and wear better. it just takes a little more planning and saving to accomplish this. or winning the lottery.

recent happenings

-kinley learned to roll over

-i made the most wonderful tortilla soup all by myself

-i'm planning a short vacation, solo!

-started watching The Tudors

-is thinking of writing a book, well finishing the ones i've started

-feels guilty for not getting to the gym more

-started and then pretty much abandoned a happiness project

-spent wayyyy to much money on new clothes

-planning on going vegetarian(eventually), i even ordered new cookbooks.

-bought my first jar of wrinkle cream, they say if you can see the wrinkles it's too late

- got bangs

-read five new books in the last two months

-is thinking of joining a club

stepping out and staying positive

when i was sixteen i was told by my boss to get everything i could out of gym class, "cause one day your lazy butt will be paying good money to go to gym class." i didn't think much of that then, but now with 30 looming around the corner and 30 extra pounds weighing me down, i know what she meant. so kids, i joined a gym. yup, i finally took that leap of faith in myself and for the first week it went really well. now, however, the entire family has a terrible cold and my new found gym routine will have to be put on hold. already? seriously? i guess that gives me time to rest before i start back at work tomorrow. yay! i'm really am trying to stay positive. i'm going to use this as my time away from the house. my time to meet people and also a time to practice patience and understanding.

i have made my job into a horrible place to go, or maybe that was the pregnancy. however, i have realized that the job itself is super simple and i could do it in my sleep. it's the people that make it no fun. and so, i am going to test ways to make the customer aspect of my sentence, i mean job fun. there has to be a reason that some people make careers out of retail. i may not think i am cut out for it, but after ten years of working in the same industry with two different companies, some would beg to differ. so, since i am stuck making coffee until i come up with proper funding and a business plan for my boutique, i will attempt to make this as comfortable as possible. wish me luck!

it's about time...

so i haven't written in five months. FIVE MONTHS! huh, time really does fly. i guess i can toss the resolution of blogging more out the window. oops! it's been a busy five months. we welcomed our baby girl into the family last month. she is just the cutest thing ever! i am so entirely head over heels in love with her. it felt like we waited such a long time for her and now our family feels totally complete. but now that she is finally here i am contemplating my self worth in this world. i am a wife and a mother of two. now what?

i feel as though i am always looking for that answer. i was able to put those thoughts on hold the last couple of months and concentrate on growing our daughter. but now those thoughts seem to be screaming at me. telling me it's time to live life to the fullest. throw carelessness to the wind and be happy! and i'm so ready for that. but where to start?

the short list:

i'm ignoring my last post for now, i'll get to those things later. these are things i would like to concentrate on right away. things that will provide stability so i can add richer things without causing chaos.

1. balance finances. this is a toughie because it involves the husband. it's time to take over the finances. this provides stress relief for him and reassurance for me. it will also give us a sense of where we are. are we living beyond our means? (most likely yes) what can we cut out over the next year to give ourselves a less stressful life? are there things we shouldn't be going without?

2. routine. routine is important for our kids. our three year old has benefited immensely from having a set routine, especially later in the day. we have slightly missed our routine the last couple of months because of pregnancy, house guests and what not.

3. nutrition and exercise. needs to be better. enough said.

okay, so these three will be my focus over the next month. if successful, i will add to them next month. wish me luck!!!

Happy New Year!

I decided this year not to make a resolution. I feel the word resolution combined with the new year is an automatic fail. Instead I'm making a to-do list of sort. Things I hope to accomplish in the near future. I know this sounds the same, but it's not. It's all in perspective folks and it all doesn't have to start today. So here is the list for the next 365 days.

1. wake up earlier. i would like to start the day on my own terms. not on my yelling daughters.

2. decorate myself. i would like my wardrobe to reflect my personality. i've sort of got a hodge-podge of clothing going on in my closet. i'm going for a comfortable, earthy feel lately.

3. cook more. i have recently found that i enjoy cooking with my daughter. who knew!

4. create an oasis. on top of landscaping the backyard, i would like a vegetable and herb garden. and a couple of citrus trees wouldn't be bad!

5. blog more. i feel better when i have a creative outlet.

6. finish the house. there are a great many unfinished decorating projects to be tackled.

7. get back in shape. luckily this one can't start until after i deliver our new bundle in may. so ha!

8. read. i love to read, no i really love to read. i devour book after book. but in the last eight months i have been a little slow in that department.

9. re-discover music. this goes along with the power of music post. i want to infuse my house with the sounds of wonderful music not tv.

10. be happy! in between missing my family and pregnancy hormones i have been letting sickness and fatigue overtake me. i want to stay motivated and stay happy. and i can pretty much conquer it all right?